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[12 Nov 2009|08:33pm] |
Update on life 'cause I haven't blogged in a while.
School's school... I've been getting kinda lazy though because I hate my core classes. I've had a cough since Halloween and it sucks but it's been slowly getting better recently. My mom is sick and the doctors are treating it as swine flu. I don't think it is because I've been near her all the time and I got my flu shot and I haven't caught anything yet. *knocks on wood* But lately doctors have been treating everything as swine flu because 95% of people who've come into their offices have been diagnosed with it, or so they say... Jimmy's been really busy with a school production that I'm watching tomorrow. I really miss him. We're planning on getting some Baklava whenever he has free time, but I'm not sure when that will be. I'm just looking forward to Thanksgiving because we're planning on *trying* to make a pumpkin pie, lol. It might be disastrous but being in the kitchen with him has always been fun. That, and I think some of my family members are gonna make it here from Canada for my grandfather's birthday. Jimmy probably won't be able to meet them 'cause he always goes to Hackettstown to visit his family on Thanksgiving, but it's alright. That just gives us more time to do things (like meet family) if we even last that long. =P
Speaking of Jimmy, his mother has been talking to me a lot more now. I'm not sure if it's because I hardly know her but she seems nice even though Jimmy considers her a nightmare lol. She is a pretty intimidating (and commanding!) Italian lady, though. She always calls me a good girl in her emails and tells me to look after her "baby boy" because he needs it, and give her updates on him because he hardly talks to her... Oh boy hahaha I really don't want to be the messenger between them.
I'm planning on visiting the school psychotherapist because I kinda miss going to sessions... But my schedule is always full and clashes with my old psychotherapist so I haven't gone to her in months. My first session is tomorrow at 1. Kind of nervous to start over again, but my friend goes to her for her own personal issues and she said she's really nice, so that makes me feel tons better.
I really can't wait for this semester to be over because I'm excited about the classes I'll be taking next semester. Eighteen credits, fuuuck... But it should be fun.
Ugggh, really craving that Baklava, though!
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[04 Nov 2009|08:18pm] |
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I accidentally robotripped. Fuck.
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[01 Nov 2009|09:42pm] |
Everybody at school's getting sick. Including me. =( Darn flu season.
Jimmy got really drunk on Friday and I ended up taking care of him late into Saturday. He was puking and passing out in my bathroom and I had to get my parents up to drag him into my room while he cursed them out for moving him. Some first impression lmao. He was extremely disappointed with himself and embarrassed and kept looking at me and banging his head on the toilet. I tried my best to comfort him and I told him I wasn't disappointed, just concerned. At one point he burst into tears and kept giving me this kicked puppy look that killed me every time. I didn't have time to get upset or freaked out until seven in the morning when I woke up and thought about what happened. I ended up sleeping on the floor because Jimmy took up the whole bed, plus I was kind of concerned he'd puke on me. I tried to stay up as long as I could just in case he threw up again. I didn't want him choking on his own vomit. I ended up crying on his chest because I was so frustrated with the entire night, which eventually woke him up. I felt bad and he felt bad. The entire night he was telling me to yell at him for being so stupid. I couldn't because I was too worried to. The following day, he told me he was glad that I'm not overbearing. I wouldn't yell at him for something he knew that he did wrong. If he recognizes the fault, I accept it and move on. And he did, and I did, and it was really refreshing after that.
Guess it's kinda a double edged sword to know the bartender heh. He started giving him free double shots at some point but Jimmy didn't even notice.
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[30 Oct 2009|01:01am] |
Jimmy singing "House of 1000 Corpses" during our Halloween Variety Show. Laughter and freaking-outage occurred when he walked into the audience (i.e. to our table) and started harassing us (namely Christine hahahaha).
Christine: "ERICA, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S CREEPY!!!"
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[23 Oct 2009|10:42pm] |
Jimmy: "Can I have a cigarette, hun? Please? Pretty please? Super please?"
Me: *hands him one*
Jimmy: "I loooove you...this. I love this! ...Because I have a cigarette."
Me: *blatantly ignores him*
I AM JUST GOING TO COUNT THAT AS SOME WEIRD SLIP.
...I guess now I know how I feel about saying "I love you" at this point ._.
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[22 Oct 2009|06:58pm] |
I'm scared out of my mind.
Tomorrow will mark the the third month of me and Jimmy getting together. But for the past two days I've been so afraid of it. I don't know why. I've never been in a relationship with someone for this long. It just really freaks me out. I haven't had the best luck with guys and I keep thinking that something bad is going to happen. I wish I could shake myself of that feeling. Jimmy has so far been the best boyfriend I've ever had. Maybe that's why I'm so scared. Because I never knew I could be so happy in a relationship. And I'm scared what that may lead to, good or bad.
I hope this feeling goes away. I like Jimmy a lot. I care for him a lot. I wish my stupid insecurities would stop cock blocking me!
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[20 Oct 2009|02:08am] |
God, I just blew up on her and she just wants someone who will listen. I feel like an asshole.
I'll try. I'll try to be someone who listens...
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I can't do this.
She tells me every time she talks to me that she doesn't know what she's doing wrong, and she doesn't know why he keeps yelling at her, and she just wants him to need her, and that she doesn't know what to do, and whenever I tell her to focus on herself, she says she can't because she likes dating and being in relationships, and she's worried that Rick knows too many people from our school and things'll go rotten if they break up, and I've already told her that that shouldn't matter, because she should focus on herself and getting away from this nasty situation, and I'm ready to tear her fucking head off because this hits too close to home for me. I thought I was over all the shit that happened with Jae, but if memories keep resurfacing themselves every time she talks to me, obviously not. I can't be the one she runs to all the time for this. It's just too personal for me. Granted, it isn't as extreme as her situation is -- I'm not trying to one up her or anything because God, I wouldn't want anyone in that kind of situation or anything close to it -- but it just hits all the places that hurt.
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[18 Oct 2009|11:56pm] |
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Steph and I just totally fake cybered. It included ham on an Italian hard roll and the Heimlich maneuver.
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[18 Oct 2009|12:12pm] |
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The best thing just happened to me! Well, sorta. I overpaid my tuition with the loan I took out by a little over $500 and the school sent it back to me as a check. I know it's money that I'm going to eventually have to pay back, but I'm really excited about it because that means I won't have to worry about how much my textbooks will cost next semester. I went to the bank today and tucked it into my savings account. I am really happy right now.
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[13 Oct 2009|08:14pm] |
Oh gosh. For some reason, I JEEEUST realized that being in a long term relationship usually entails getting married and having kids. It occurred to me when I found out that Jimmy's brother and his girlfriend finally got married after, what, seven years? And they have a kid already and we found out a couple days ago that they've got another on the way.
Christ. Christ! I already freaked out and told Jimmy that I will object to him planting his seeds in my fertile land anytime soon. I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS FANTASIES OF BECOMING A COWBOY (apparently one of the necessities of being a cowboy is to have a pretty girl wrongfully taken away from him, either through murder or running out on him to hide that she's pregnant AND I OBJECT TO BOTH CHOICES).
If I'm invited to the church wedding, I am going to freak out even more. Hahaha.
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[12 Oct 2009|11:38pm] |
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I wish I'd worry about the things I need to worry about instead of worrying about everything at the same time. It's not doing me any good, anyway.
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[12 Oct 2009|09:08pm] |
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Spent nearly the entire extended weekend with Jimmy and his roommates. It was just what I needed. It made me so happy. =)
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[09 Oct 2009|01:19pm] |
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Meeeh. Hate how crazy life is. Hope I get to spend time with Jimmy this weekend... It's frustrating not being able to see him as much as I like. =( That's life, though. Hopefully it'll stop being so hectic for a minute so I can relax.
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[07 Oct 2009|03:08pm] |
I got an A- on a test I totally forgot about and thus did not study for. =D
I think I did pretty well on my history exam. =D
Jimmy annoyed me by talking about how drunk he was on Saturday; except he alleviated it a little by telling me that he didn't participate in the drunk college games because he'd never cheat on me. And then my friends told him that they'd kill him if he did. =D
Still feel kind of shitty today, though. =(
One more midterm tomorrow and then I can relax.
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[06 Oct 2009|09:59pm] |
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I feel miserable. I can't for the life of me remember what the second half of my psychology assignment was. I thought I'd written it down. And I have midterms this week in history and theology, which of course adds more stress. I loathe studying. I submitted the wrong information for a loan and I have to get it fixed but I have to wait until Saturday because my grandmother is the one who cosigned with me. I foresee a headache. I just want this week to be over.
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[04 Oct 2009|06:28am] |
Jimmy got really drunk last night and then kept sending me text messages that he'd never cheat on me. It was kind of cute in an . . . annoying way (but just because nothing was spelled right and I had to decipher everything). I was kind of worried because everyone was taking their shirts off . . . Oh, college kids. He seemed to need to tell me everything that was going on and telling me that he's not participating in them "cause yore mine. Ypure mine Etcia."
. . . Oh Jimmy.
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[27 Sep 2009|10:42pm] |
I didn't realize how busy Jimmy was when we weren't dating, but I think he's a lot busier than he was last semester . . . Wish I had more time to spend with him, but at least it allows me to miss him. Heh.
In search of bagged wine to consume Friday. J. Brant's variety show is this coming weekend and if people's reactions are correct, I'm going to need alcohol.
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[27 Sep 2009|12:28am] |
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I am incredibly hungry and it is tiring as fuck.
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[26 Sep 2009|01:02pm] |
I started working out when I started my bc because I have been absolutely ravenous and it's like my stomach is an endless pit that I can't seem to stop feeding. I have huge breakfasts and snacks in between and a decent lunch and dinner and I try my best to not eat after six and it's working nicely except my hunger is very angry. I'm thinking of switching to a bc that my friend takes that's called Ortho Tric-Cyclen Lo which she's been on since she was seventeen. Obviously it's the lowest dose (hence the Lo) and she gets week-long periods and no ravenous hunger but I also have to take into account that bc affects everybody's body differently. I think I'll take it up with my doctor the next time I need to go check my blood pressure and that wonderful thing they call a pap smear.
Ugh. I have about $590 to pay off of my credit card and I haven't brought it anywhere because I don't want to spend anymore money that I obviously don't have. So I'm very slowly paying it off and then I'm going to get rid of it.
Think I'll stop procrastinating now and do my laundry and homework. Possibly.
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[24 Sep 2009|10:11pm] |
Today and yesterday was of the crazy. On Wednesday, Jimmy and I went to New York City to watch Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Radio City Music Hall. It was very good, and it was awesome having seen it with the boy. Karen O is definitely an . . . eccentric entertainer. I got home around midnight and then had to sleepily pound out an article about it for the school newspaper's Arts & Entertainment column. Although I love writing these articles, their editors are so fucking holier-than-thou sometimes and absolutely shred up my work. I'm debating on whether or not I want to continue doing this, but Leslie said that at least I know I'm not fucking anything up even though my article may look like a mess after it's gone through unnecessary editing. What pisses me off is that not a lot of people who write for the paper are very strong in journalism, so while there are guidelines, they are very loose and not everyone follows them properly. I went to bed at two and hoped to sleep until eight because I needed some much needed rest, but I ended up waking around seven. I was very frustrated and felt tired throughout the whole day. Studying for the quiz I had in prose fiction totally slipped my mind because this morning proved to be frustrating all around and I don't think I did very well on it.
I decided to skip my history class and I ended up going to Jimmy's room with his roommate and friend. I was supposed to be watching Robert De Niro's Taxi Driver but I kept nodding off. Eventually Jimmy had to go to class and I watched the rest of the movie with Kevin before falling asleep again. I left around five to hang out with Julia in her apartment and drink her boxed wine (well, it wasn't boxed anymore but it's in this awesome IV bag-looking thing). God, it was the tastiest thing I've ever had. I ended up going to Argus Eyes' rehearsal really tipsy and mind you I am not a part of the Theatre Society . . . And somehow got dragged into doing an improv. Goodness gracious.
I was feeling kinda cranky after the alcohol left my system so I just hung out with Leslie and then went home. Where I am now. And did I mention that I'm exhausted? I'm exhausted.
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